Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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