I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I looked at my own cervix.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize