scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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