ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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