Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
