thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
