My boss' voice literally gives me gas
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
