Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
