ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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