hotel room ftw
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize