Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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