When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
