so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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