EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
