we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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