I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
