Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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