Having a random hookup so left but love u
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Is Oprah even human
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
