farters have to be the big spoon...
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
