You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
