if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
