You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
