sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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