I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
