Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize
