Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
