So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
