She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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