i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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