WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
