he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
