Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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