dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize