he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
