they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
