Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
