just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
