do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
