I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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