i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize
