I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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