I wannas sexs uuuuu
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I would fuck him just for his dog
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
