I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Randomize