no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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