sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
