STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
