not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
