you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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