i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
