Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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