I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
