You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
