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Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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