Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
