Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize