Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize