a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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