Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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